How It Feels To Be Me…
Do you really wish to know?
Sometimes I don’t, but I do.
I alone know how it feels to be me.
I try to explain, to share my joy and my pain,
But not everyone listens.
Will you?
Let me tell you my secret…
I feel the healing.
It’s like a breath of fresh air,
But it brings with it a passing storm.
The pain:
The horrible pain that smothers,
And entwines itself within me.
The dizziness:
The endless sensations,
That in one swift spin can move me to my knees.
The fatigue:
The blanket of indescribable tiredness,
That brings with it aching muscles, un-restful sleep, and complete confusion.
My heart beats fast;
My hands shake;
My stomach turns inside out.
I’m pained by the knowledge that tomorrow may be worse than today.
But, I’m comforted by the future which holds such promise.
I’m reassured by the voices of my loved ones.
I’m thankful for every breath, every thought, and every action,
Which have been taken to help me heal.
I know the journey will be a long one.
And if you knew how it feels to be me,
You would listen.
Molly Murphy, 1/29/09
4 comments
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August 1, 2009 at 11:12 am
Nani
Wow! Thank you for sharing your poem with us. I will be following you on your journey to wellness – best of health to you.
August 3, 2009 at 5:12 pm
dizzygrl05
Nani, thank you! So glad you’ve enjoyed my poem, and I’m so pleased you’ll be following my progress! The more support the better, right?
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Peace and healing to you, molly
January 8, 2010 at 11:56 am
Annie
I was just diagnosed with chronic Lyme and was thinking about starting a blog about treatment–which I’ll be starting Monday. It appears that lots of people with Lyme are sharing their experience, so I’m not sure if yet another is really interesting. But I had to tell you that your poem is great. It’s so hard to explain to people. Which is why for quite a while I’ve just tried to push through the discomfort, fatigue, mental confusion, etc. without mentioning much to anyone. Because, ultimately, no one wants to hear for the Nth day in a row that they say, “Hey, how are you?”– “Oh man I’m so tired. Everything hurts and I can’t think straight.” I see in their face that they’re thinking, “Everyone’s tired and stressed, suck it up.” So I did. Until recently when everything became absolutely un-handle-able. Then I found a doctor who put the pieces together and said, “I can’t believe what you’ve accomplished feeling the way you’ve felt. We’re going to make this better.” What a relief. Anyway, this comment is becoming quite long. I guess reading your poem sort of set it all loose. So thank you for writing that. And for your blog. Good luck and congrats on your anniversary!
January 20, 2010 at 6:51 pm
dizzygrl05
Annie, I’m sorry I couldn’t reply to you sooner!
I’m so gratified to hear that my poem, and my blog, has helped you. That’s a major reason that I’m here. I want to connect with people! This may sound silly – but congratulations on starting your treatment! It’s a huge first step. I really want to encourage you to write a blog of your own. It has meant the world to me since I began my own journey.
Let me wish you good luck as well! Hope you’ll continue to visit me :)