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I’m tired. More than tired. I feel… weary. That’s just not a pretty word. I hurt. I’m in pain. I’ve had a long weekend, and I haven’t even done anything other than rest. I can tell I needed it. And, I can tell I still need more of it.
But…
It will be ok in the morning. I think so. It will, right? It’ll be better. Every day is better than the last, no matter if I can feel that or not. I know it. That’s what matters. Each day is better than the last because I’ve survived one more day of treatment. I’m one day further in my journey, and I have less road to travel tomorrow, and the day after.
We all keep going. And somewhere deep down I think we all need to know it WILL be ok in the morning. The sun will rise, time will tick by, and we will continue our fight.
Keep up the hope,
molly
Wise words. I’ve had this photo up on my computer for a few days, just to remind myself to make each and every day count.
I’ve busied myself with my jewelry shop for the past month. I’ve found that the creative focus has helped me. I missed creating. I missed that aspect of my life. When I was little I went around telling everyone I could that I wanted to be an artist when I grew up.
Over the years as I’ve dealt with first FMS and now Lyme, I felt myself forgetting. I’d lost that passion. I knew it was in me, somewhere, but I didn’t have the energy to rekindle it.
Recently I’ve discovered that those pieces of jewelry I create actually do make each day count. I can see tangible proof that my life is in my hands. I chose to make something. At the end of the day I can look down and see what I did that day. That counts for something when most days are a blur.
Of course that’s only one thing in my life that makes a difference each day. I could list them all, but that would make for one l-o-n-g post!
What makes your days count?
I really, really do.
Life deserves a happy ending, no matter how much you have to go through to finally find it. Some days it feels like there is no end. We treat, and treat, and see only more road in front of us. Today I felt the need to remind myself that yes, there is an end of the road and a beginning of a new one. Sometime, someplace. It won’t always be like this. I will find a happy ending. And you will too :)
Last spring I celebrated my high school graduation with you. It was a huge accomplishment for me, and your support along the way was amazing! Your support of the blog, of me, and of my story has changed the way I live with Lyme. Truly.
I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I have a treating doctor; I have everything I need to heal – antibiotics, supplements, herbs, family, friends, and the list goes on, and on, and on. What I struggle with is the need for time. Lyme doesn’t follow a schedule. There is no end date, no final deadline. It just is.
This last year has been an exceptionally hard one for my family and I. It feels like blow, after blow has fallen upon us. I won’t go into the details but I’ve been shown how strong my family is. We have hope and we have courage.
They are an inspiration to me. And they are one of the reasons that I have been given the opportunity to take this school year off. I’m taking an entire year and dedicating it to myself. My priority is to heal. I’m giving my body what it’s screaming for – time.
I’m giving myself time when I feel that I need it. I have the luxury to truly listen to my body, and I’m grateful for it.
However I also want to enjoy this time.
I’m marking events on my calendar. I’m teaching preschool. I want to write, to learn, to create. But most of all I want to be happy. I want to look back at this year and not regret my decision to put off my schooling. I want to make this year worth it.
I can’t let it slip through my fingers…
And that leads me to my big announcement!
This month I opened my own Etsy store. I’ve always been creative in one way or another. My passion has been jewelry making. Years ago while I was in middle school I started my own business – I sold the jewelry I made at two local gift shops and my mom toted me and my work to craft fairs. I loved it!
My parents have always supported me, and they taught me that I really can do whatever I set my mind to. Well I figured that if I did it then, I can do it again now, and better!
My new store is called Seeking Serendipity. Please, follow the link and check it out!! Your support will mean the world to me. Keep an eye on the shop – new items will be added as I complete them!
I’m taking a leap of faith…
… and hoping it works out!
My goal is to offer an opportunity to purchase an upcycled, stylish and completely unique piece of jewelry, handmade by me! I handcraft paper beads out of repurposed papers and seal them with a ton-toxic & water based sealer. My beads are both totally unique and eye-catching! PErfect for an earth-friendly lifestyle.
Looking for one-of-a-kind jewelry this holiday season? My paper bead jewelry could be the answer you’re looking for. Or, maybe you’ll find that perfect gift idea at the Lymenaide Holiday Bazaar! I’ll be joining this event soon – and I’m excited to be involved! Check us all out, and support those in some way connected with Lyme Disease.
Spread the word!
More from me soon,
Peace & healing,
molly
“Sometimes you just have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.” – Kobi Yamada
Tomorrow is the big day. It’s the day I’ve worked to earn for the past four years, no matter how impossible it felt. Tomorrow I graduate from high school!
I could cry. I honestly, seriously, could cry. I was told two years ago that there was no possible way I would ever be able to catch myself up enough in order to graduate with my class. I wanted to prove to myself that even with my health in the state it was, I wasn’t going to let my life get pulled out from under me.
I needed to prove to myself I could do it. And, I have. I did it. I worked at home with tutors, through summers, and online in order to complete high school and still continue my treatment. I know my family and friends are incredibly proud of me. And I’m genuinely proud of myself.
I couldn’t tell you how I did it. I wish I had a secret to pass on to those others working though high school with chronic illnesses. The last two years are a blur. But tomorrow I’ll don a royal blue cap and gown and walk across that stage. I know I won’t have to remind myself to smile!
I’ll be back with a celebratory post as soon as I can.
Thank you for your continued support; it has meant so much!
Peace and healing to all!
molly
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be” – George Sheehan
37/365 – hello sunshine!, originally uploaded by orangesparrow.
Good morning! Thought I’d pop in with a smile. I hope you have a absolutely lovely day today! Inspire others. Find your joy. Search for peace. And let Lyme slip away from your thoughts for a moment. We all deserve a break!
I’m working on an update for you all. School deadlines have got me exhausted this week, but it’s coming, I promise! Oh, how I’m looking forward to a nice three day weekend.
Much love, molly
"May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past." – Irish Blessing
, originally uploaded by Jessie Koon.
This popped up in my Twitter feed today from Kind Over Matter. All I can say, is that I honestly and absolutely believe that things happen for a reason. One thing happens that causes something else, and before you know it there’s a chain reaction leading to an exact moment in your life. Most of the time these undercurrents go unnoticed in our lives. I love to stop and notice those movements in life, and enjoy the pure the serendipity involved.
This photo is exactly what I needed to see this morning.
I woke up feeling miserable. I was moving slowly, stiffly, nauseously. I couldn’t eat a bite. I could barely stand long enough to get dressed, never mind the make-up. Vertigo swished and swirled around me as I tried to bend down. It was as bad as I’ve been in a long, long time.
And this had been building up all week. Each day worse than the day before it. And this morning I almost cried. Today was the day that I had been asked by my school to tape a PR video testimonial interview. I was so excited to do this. I believe in my school, and it’s mission. This was a chance I jumped at. And I woke up in worse shape than I had imagined.
That’s when I saw this photo. I smiled. And I knew that this was meant for me to see this morning. It brought out that motivation I needed, that knowledge that I could do this. I wanted to do it, and I wanted to do all I could to help myself achieve this.
I pushed myself to swallow my handful of pills and go to my craniosacral appointment. I’m so incredibly grateful for my therapist there. She is amazing -inspiring and motivating me to focus myself for this opportunity, and then focusing herself on my body.
She worked a miracle today.
I just got home from the interview, and it was the most fun I’ve had in a while. And, remember, I’m one of those people who usually have fun doing anything! This was incredible. I’m so grateful, and sincerely happy to have gotten the chance to do this! It was great, and I was great! I pulled something out of myself, and I hope that what I brought to this process today will help someone. I know it was worth it if it does.
I had to share this with you!
Peace and healing, molly
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