You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2009.
It’s days like today where I’m reminded of how lucky I truly am. Here I am, working on a scholarship application for the past week. It’s due tonight at midnight, and I turned it in late this afternoon. I was so excited, so proud that I had done it in time. That is, until my emotions went upside-down and backwards on me. As soon as I finalized the electronic application and I scrolled down to submit it and print out my own copy, I saw the word: Mail.
Ohmygoodness, I’m not going to lie. My heart sank. Turns out that I have to find a copy of my transcripts, get a letter of reference, have 2 signed forms of volunteer verification, and mail them all in with a paper copy of the application by February 1st.
I see two problems with this. First, do they not know that the 1st is a Sunday? Just wondering… I mean it’s going to have to be the 2nd if it happens at all. Not my fault, blame someone else for that one. And second, didn’t they think that knowing I would need those things would have been nice before I had submitted the application already?! Again, just curious over here. Needless to say, I was more than a little miffed.
Thank God for email and Facebook. That’s all I can say. I immediately got in touch with all the people I needed help from, and they all graciously agreed to. I’m so lucky, and I know it! I’m meeting with two of them tomorrow to sign the forms, and a third is typing up that letter as I type this. Thank you so much to all of you, really!! You have helped me more than you know, and I appreciate it.
Wish me luck guys, maybe I’ll actually win the scholarship. Who knows?! It could happen :)
Love you all, molly
Well, I had an eye-opening experience this afternoon. I love those, I really do. They’re such rare experiences and yet they shouldn’t be, they really shouldn’t be. It’s so clear in my mind I had to write about it. I was resting this afternoon after a long morning when it happened. I had English, and Art, and Chemistry all swirling around in my brain, and to add Economics on top of that was a bit much on a day where I was testing out new contacts and Herxing (needless to say). So there I was watching TV, or at least trying to. I moved from the chair to the bed. Switched movies at least five times. And, I still couldn’t find a comfortable position or concentrate on anything to watch. I was just restless, in pain, and oh so fatigued.
Finally, I turned to my favorite movie: Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window. But, that’s beside the point. As I was lying there listening to the voices of Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly argue about the merits of people being able to live anywhere they wanted, I suddenly realized that it was quiet. I mean, sure there were the voices on the TV and the dog breathing loudly in the hallway and the sounds of life outside the window. But, in my head it was quiet.
All I could hear was the silence. It wasn’t deafening. It was sweet. It was peaceful. It was absolute bliss for a few moments. The high-pitched ringing that had been echoing through my skull for hours had stopped. I remember simply smiling, until I realized that I didn’t know how long it had been stopped for. What if it had been gone for an hour already and I, too busy trying to tune it out, had missed the joyous occasion?
And so, my eye-opening experience comes into play now. I realized that for the past few days, maybe even weeks, I’ve been experiencing new symptoms but I’d been blocking them out. I noticed them, and I lived with them, but I hadn’t been enough in-tune with my body. That’s something I need to work on. I need to stay grounded. I need to not live outside my body looking in, but actually live in it. And that, my friends will be hard. I fully admit that. We’ll see how I do with my renewed realization in the next few days.
More to come.
“There are times when silence has the loudest voice.” ~Leroy Brownlow
Ok, so much has happened in the past few days that it almost seems daunting to be sitting here trying to summarize it all for you. It’s been a complete mix of both amazing and inspiring events, to recoveries, excitements, and the inevitable repercussions that follow.The good days and the bad ones, the ups and the downs, I know they come with the territory. But every so often they just hit ya right in the face. And not always in a bad way, but often in a good one. I’m a realistic person, and feeling the ground under my feet is an emotion I’m willing to accept today.
It all began on Thursday. I did make it in to see my chiropractor, and yes thank God I seem to have recovered from my migraine! He made a few adjustments and almost instantaneously I could feel the pain just begin to melt away. I love that feeling. It’s like all of a sudden you can hear yourself think again. The dark overcast sky has moved on, and away, and you’re there just waiting for the sun to shine again. Is that a bit melodramatic? Oh well, if it gets the imaging across I’m happy. He agrees that I need some more work done though, so I’ll be seeing him again in a few weeks.
Friday morning my dad and I went in to see my doctor, just to check in on my progress so far and have a precautionary EKG done. The appointment went well. I listed off my seemingly odd symptoms and experiences so far and she just nodded and took notes. Apparently, I’m normal! Who knew?! Well, ok, I’ll rephrase that. I’m normal in the Lyme world.
My body sweats and chills, increased nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and I can’t even remember what else right now, are all normal reactions for me to be experiencing if I am indeed having a Herx. Need some refreshing on what that is exactly? Well a Herxheimer reaction, or Herx for short, occurs when the body (my body!) is experiencing the overwhelming effect of the toxins from the Lyme Disease as they’re being released from being killed off by the antibiotics. The body can’t get rid of them fast enough, and therefore both new and old symptoms begin to crop up again. Having a Herx is considered a confirmation of the Lyme Disease in my case. So yes folks, I’ve officially got Chronic Lyme Disease. Honestly, I’m happy that it’s confirmed. Now we can move forward with more treatments and try to fight this thing!
My doctor gave me a a list of herbs and supplements to look into taking. I’ll be starting Probiotics soon to give my body some help with good bacteria. The antibiotics are killing most of it right now, so it’s best to supplement. I’m still learning more about this, so there’ll more to come I’m sure. I’m also really intrigued by her request of me to begin taking grapefruit seed extract. There’s new research to show it’s usage in killing the “cyst” form of the disease, which antibiotics are unable to do. Exciting, huh? I’m amazed at the use of these natural sources for fighting the disease. Another supplement we’re looking into is Cordyceps mushroom which helps boost the immune system and also fights Lyme. I sense a trip to the Co-Op soon to look for these! Ah, and just a side-note… my EKG was just fine, so no worries there guys.
I spent the rest of Friday afternoon working on school work and cleaning my room. It’s taken me months to find the energy to do that, and I’m so glad I pushed myself to do it. I’m so enjoying being able to chill out on my couch again. I missed that. And, Friday night my best friend was able to sleep over! We were up until at least 1 watching chick flicks. The perfect end to a busy and crazy day I’d say!
Saturday morning we woke up bright and early (I don’t even want to think about how many hours of sleep I got..) to walk at the Juvenile Walk for Diabetes at the Mall of America. We walked to support a fellow Girl Scout from our service unit. And, let me just say that it was completely and totally worth it. It was truly amazing! The amount of people there was phenomenal, and the spirit and energy there was just so inspiring! I’ll post some photos later :)
So after all that excitement and walking, I crashed for the rest of the day yesterday. I was just so tired. I was dizzy, and tired, and nauseous but I didn’t regret it. And, I still don’t today. Sure, today was a long day, but like I said earlier… the ups and the downs come with the territory. I’m just proud that I pushed through and enjoyed myself so much over the long weekend. Today after teaching Preschool at my church I collapsed again (luckily, I can get to my couch now so that’s not as much of a problem anymore). My mom says she can “see it in my eyes” that I’m sick. And, I think I’d agree. I’m starting to feel the Herx more and more. Today I was feverish instead of chilled. My head aches, my legs and feet are painful to the touch, and I’m avoiding closing my eyes because I’m somewhat dizzier than normal and I don’t want to admit it. I had a great evening visiting with my brother and sister-in-law, and a morning to make me smile with my Preschool class. So it wasn’t a bad day altogether, but oh man parts of it were. I think though, that one of the benefits of having symptoms of “brain fog” and memory loss, is that I’ll probably just forget that this afternoon was horrible and only remember the good parts of the rest of the day. At least, I can only hope.
“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.” ~ Douglas Adams
Well, it’s been a while since I wrote any “status-updates” hasn’t it? *sigh* Can you tell I love writing about that? But, that’s why I made this blog… so I suppose it’s time to address that for the week.
Here goes nothin’
Okay, so I’ve now graduated into 3 weeks of Lyme Disease treatments. Yay me!! That was yesterday I believe, or Monday night, one of the two. But, no matter, close enough cuts it for me!
Yesterday was also an important day in this whole progress because it was the first day I began taking my 2nd antibiotic. That was fun… I’m just thanking the heaven’s above that I actually remembered to add the new med into my pills the night before! I (feeling oh so very smart, I might add…) added the date and med into my amazing computer calendar, meaning that my computer scared me on the morning of by popping up with a reminder to take it. So, yes, I was feeling a bit smug, if a bit sheepish at jumping because of a pop-up. But, I’m a jumpy person so that’s not my own fault. Oh jeez, I’m digressing.
Back on topic!
Where was I? Oh yes, my 2nd antibiotic. Well, no bad reactions from it yet. Which is definitely a good thing! My doctor was a little worried about my heart rate after I began taking it, so lucky me, having a dad who used to be an EMT I’ve been under surveillance. So far so good. A normal, steady pulse. Which, is a little odd in itself. Normally my pulse is super fast, and my doctors are considering it a symptom of the Lyme.
So I have an appointment bright and early Friday morning to have an EKG done just in case. Very precautionary. I’ll have been on the med for three days beforehand. I’ve never had an EKG before. Do I sense a new adventure?!
And, before I get any questioning comments from my parents… no I am not always that enthusiastic. It’s actually been a really long week so far. And, it’s only Wednesday! Uh oh…. I’ve been so extremely fatigued I hardly want to admit it. The pain hasn’t been too bad, minimal I’d say. But it’s there. As is the dizziness which has actually increased a lot in the past week. Last night it was so bad that I didn’t feel like I could turn my head. Ack!
I’ve also had a migraine on and off for the past week. It’s the 1st one in almost two months though! I’m so thrilled at that!! I used to have them weekly. I started seeing a chiropractor in the middle of last year and I still can’t believe the results I’ve been getting. So, needless to say I’m very excited to have an appointment tomorrow morning. Cross your fingers we can get rid of this one too!
Other symptoms that have cropped up include me breaking out into cold sweats still. That’s really not fun. I’ve also been pretty shaky all week. And, of course the nausea has been pretty bad. I think that’s being caused by the antibiotics. But, I always get more nauseous when my dizziness increases so who knows.
I think that’s just about it. Otherwise, my new school semester started today. New classes included! I’ve got a new art course, economics, and chemistry now. I’ve also been working on a Girl Scout Leadership camp that my best friend and I were asked to plan/host. So that’s been fun. We’re still in the brain-storming phase though so we’ve got lots more work to do coming up here.
So there’s my update! Not the best news, but not too bad either I’d like to think. I’m not sure if I’ve gone into a Herx reaction or not yet, but we’ll see what my doctor has to say on Friday.
“Don’t panic!” ~Douglas Adams
Ohmygoodness, what an incredible day!! Am I right? I’m speechless, awestruck, inspired, motivated, excited, and oh so emotional all at the same time! It’s been that way all day, and I have a feeling that those emotions are here to stay for a while.
I don’t even know what to say here. I’ve been an Obama supporter for a while now. Politics have always been somewhat of a backstage interest of mine, but when I began reading about Barack Obama and following his campaign, it definitely peaked. Another passion of mine is history; I’ve always loved it and I’ve always wanted to become a part of it. Well, with this election I honestly feel that we have all played an important part in the history of our great country. What an incredible giant leap forward we’ve all taken. I only wish I was old enough to have voted!
But, back to the history.
My mind is boggling at what happened today. It’s odd actually, before President Obama ran for office I had never thought about when a black man would become president. I knew the day would come, it didn’t worry me. I think that’s normal in my generation however.
But, as soon as I began to think about it, and I mean really think about it, I knew it was time. It was time, and we were ready. Our country has opened so many doors today. People all over the world are celebrating with us. I find that not only humbling, but gratifying.
I’m curious to see what this great man will do as he steps into the role of commander-in-chief. All eyes are on him now, and I don’t envy him that. Instead I pray, and yes, I hope that he will indeed be able to calm the troubled waters and bring the change we all so desperately need.
I know I will never forget this moment, this day, or this amazing whirlwind that has caught a hold of our country in a time when we needed it most. This man has brought the country together, and hopefully he can help us forge ahead in the years to come.
“Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.” ~ President Barack Obama in his Inauguration speech ( 1/20/08 )
Check out this new campaign created by USA Network called Characters Unite . I absolutly love the video! I signed the pledge as soon as I saw the email come into my inbox. Please, take a moment to watch this inspirational video, read the mission statement, and take a look at the sponsors of the pledge. We should all work to celebrate diversity, and as the pledge states, we should “unite”.
Here’s what USA Network has to say about the new campaign:
Thanks, more to come.
It really is so fitting that today, Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday, is the day before one of the most historic days in the history of the United States- the swearing in of the first African American President. Personally, I’m thrilled about tomorrow’s inauguration. I have complete faith in President-elect Barrack Obama.
But, I’ll save that for tomorrow. Tonight I’d like to take a moment to reflect upon Martin Luther King Jr. himself. Reading his “I Have A Dream” speech was perhaps one of my absolute favorite moments in my English class last year. The power, the meaning, and the emotion behind his words truly is immortal. We are forever indebted to him for the changes he helped bring about in our world today.
Last summer I was fortunate enough to be able to take a trip to San Francisco with my brother Matt and my sister-in-law Becky. We spent a day just walking around downtown, picking this street or that, turning here or there. I loved it! My favorite place that we “discovered” was a park that happened to be having an outdoor concert at the time. We sat, and listened for a while and then decided to walk around.
What did we find on the other side? A beautiful fountain. It took my breath away. But, it wasn’t just a fountain. It was a memorial built to Martin Luther King Jr. There was a stone walkway that you could pass under and walk through. On your right were photos and quotes of MLK’s and on your left was the beautiful water falling, seemingly from above your head and simply cascading downwards. As I walked through the tunnel I was speechless. It was such an amazing memorial. Such beauty, and so inspiring.
And so, tonight I’d like to share some of the photos I took of it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
“No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.” ~ Martin Luther King in his “I Have A Dream” speech