You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘I’m in the Lyme-Light’ category.

I visited my LLMD this week and I thought you guys would be interested to hear how it went. So, here’s the deal – My LLMD is following protocols of Dr. Fry in regards to the relationship between diet and the lyme bacteria/biofilms. The low-fat diet my LLMD has me on eliminates biofilms in the body. With those gone the antibiotics begin to finally be able to kill off the bacteria hiding and my immune system is able to begin to support itself again. My LLMD believes (and has seen this proven true with other patients) that I can now stop taking antibiotics and continue to see improvement and eventual health by continuing to strictly follow the diet, detox and support my body with a few well-chosen supplements!

Starting Monday I’m stopping antibiotics after 4 years and I’ll see how things go for the next 4-6 weeks.

I think this is fantastic, don’t misunderstand me! I’m just still in shock and still trying to make sense of it all. A year ago I was researching ports vs. piccs and now I’m researching the nutrional content of my foods. It’s a major change of mentality!

So… this is all super exciting, without question, but scary too because the idea of another relapse scares the crap out of me. I’ve done that and I don’t ever want to find myself in that position again :-/

Wish me luck, say a small prayer and join me in throwing as much positive energy and thoughts into the universe about this as you can spare!

All my love as I continue my journey to health and healing.
molly

Advertisements

image

I’m not sure where to credit this photo, but I stumbled across it today and it moved me. Yes. This. This is how I feel today.

Today wasn’t a good day, but I’ve felt worse. I have what I need to heal right now. I’m in pain, but I was given another day to overcome it. My life is far from perfect. But I am truly blessed.

Keep an eye out for a treatment updated soon! I’m still here. Taking life one day at a time.

Much love,
molly

I have a moment, a feeling frozen in my mind. I doubt that it will ever go away. It doesn’t haunt me. It doesn’t affect my daily life. But sometimes a memory will be triggered by the present, and I need to accept that it was part of my journey in order to move on.

I was ten or eleven years old. I’m sitting in a chair in my parent’s bedroom with tears streaming down my face. I remember vividly that I was crying because I was shaking with internal tremors that nobody could see or feel. All I wanted was for somebody to see what I felt. I wanted somebody to tell me that they knew I wasn’t lying or faking to get out of school or to gain attention. At this point I hadn’t been sick for very long (in retrospect) but it felt like it had been forever. I was miserable. I just wanted a doctor to believe me, to help me, to make it stop. Why couldn’t they see it? WHY? Tears spilled from my eyes often during those hard years.

My parents believed me every step of the way. They fought for me. I’m lucky and honest to God, I’m blessed to have them as my parents. They never gave up, and they taught me to fight for myself, my health and my hope.

Nine years later I still have those internal tremors. But as time has passed they’ve progressed. Now I have muscle tremors and spasms that are completely visible. Most days they’re minimal. I can often hide them, or hold my muscles so that they are less noticeable. Ask my best friends or my brothers if they’ve ever seen what I’m talking about and they’ll say “No”. I simply unconsciously hide most of my symptoms around people. I can’t help it.

Yesterday one of my practioners was working with my face and head. Not even five minutes later my eyes, eyebrows, nose, lips, and cheeks were in spasm. They began twitching uncontrollably for the next hour and a half. Soon my arms, shoulders and legs were jerking. The more I tried the relax my face they would act up again. I’d take a deep breath, release, and then a moment later they were back. It’s an odd feeling of vulnerability. I wasn’t afraid to let them happen yesterday, but they were exhausting. I left the appointment completely done-in.

As I lay on the table I was struck with that memory. The odd juxtaposition of my feelings nine years ago with my habit of hiding these tremors today occurred to me. Now I have that vindication. Doctors and those providing care on my medical team do acknowledge that these tremors exist. They are no longer in question. These people believed me and now they can see it with their own eyes. It’s been proven that I was never the young faker trying to gain attention or get out of school. I was a girl who needed help that I didn’t receive until it was long overdue.

So in that light not only do I have feelings of vindication now, but I have a sense of exasperation. I simply shouldn’t have had to wait nine years.

Now my sense of fairness to my younger self is troubling me.

Do I want people to see these tremors? Do I acknowledge her wish? Or do I continue to allow myself to put up a front, a different face now in the present? I don’t know. I almost hesitated to write this post because I don’t know what my final feelings are about this. It’s an internal question that I’m going to have to work out for myself. So if one day you see me and notice these muscle spasms, know that either I’m too ill to control them or, more hopefully, I’m acknowledging that little girl inside me who only wanted to be heard.

 

xo,

molly

Recently I’ve been wondering how to accept the time I’ve lost. The years of college and experiences I’ve missed. Then I remember that every single thing I’ve done and gone through in the past has helped shape and mold me into the person I am today.

And you know what? I like the person I’ve become today. And for that I’m grateful.

This quote resonated with me today. It seemed to answer a small voice in my head that needed to be heard. I hope it helps somebody else today too.

 

Gentle hugs,

molly

Hello, everyone! There are a couple new features to find here on the blog, and I thought I’d give you a head’s up.

First, on the left-hand side of the page is a new email subscription feature. I’ve always had the Feedburner email service, but I wasn’t ever completely satisfied with it. WordPress has come out with a service of it’s own that I’m excited to try! So, if you’re interested go ahead and test it out. It will email you the complete blog post (not just a snippet) minutes after I post it and give you a link to comment. I like it – I signed up myself just to see what it was like! And there’s still the feed subscription here as well.

I’ve also created a new page called Lyme in Action. Do you ever have complete and total Lyme moments? The ones you just can’t explain? I do! Check out Lyme in Action to laugh with me as I share my own.

And lastly, this isn’t a new feature but if you missed my update on the MN Lyme bill you can read about it here.

 

Enjoy!

 

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 718 other followers

Recent Comments

Follow me on Twitter