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Believe it.

 

Much love,

molly

it’s okay., originally uploaded by wishcake.

This is pretty much going to be my new mantra. I love it! These words open up such freedom, and so much potential. Sometimes, we just need to be told that “it’s ok.” for us to do something.

I came across this AWESOME video this afternoon and I had to share it with you. It’s a little long, but I know you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. Validation is right!

 

Smile!

I really do! Some pain, sure. And yes a little fatigue. But, oh, how good it feels to say this! Let’s think positive, healing thoughts.

I feel good today.

Here’s hoping that you feel good too. Healing vibes coming your way, my dear fellow Lymies.

Looking Good

One complaint from a lot of chronically ill people is that they hate being told, “You look good!” when they’re so sick. They want people to realize that they’re sick, and if we look as sick as we are it’s almost justifying. I have days that I feel horrible, and I’m sure that I look as sick as I feel. Today was one of those days. I see the paleness in my face, and the deep, dark circles under my eyes and think that it’s got to be obvious how sick I am.

Well, this morning I ran into a few people at my doctor’s office after my appointment that I hadn’t seen in a few weeks. They both agreed how “good I looked”. It instantly cheered me up! I love lookin’ good, I don’t know about you! So, I challenge you next time you’re feeling awful {for whatever reason} and somebody takes the time to tell you that you look good, to appreciate it! Sometimes, it’s the small things that really do matter.

I’m grateful for that sweet comment made to me today. It put me in a much better mood, and is still bringing a smile to my face as I think about it hours later!

This photo popped up in my Twitter feed from Kind Over Matter this morning after I got home. There truly are no mistakes in the universe. Thank you, lucy rose!

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

–Ingrid Michaelson

Yes, yes I know. I’ve been slack in updating lately. I fully acknowledge it! The last few months have held so many ups and downs that I’m exhausted just trying to think about it. Trying being the key word there, as I’m already exhausted before even trying to think. Quite a conundrum, I’d say.

 

So, wow. Six months of treatment for my Lyme. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it. The hardest aspect of this update is accepting that just a few months ago I hit the point where I felt as badly as I had last winter in November and December. That’s huge. I hadn’t felt like that in all of these months. And I hit this low while I was off my antibiotics. Am I really getting better yet? I don’t know. Right now, I don’t feel like I am. But I’m holding onto my favorite affirmation: Everything is getting better every day.

 

Today marks the end of my first week back on antibiotics after my Mayo experience. I’m still not feeling quite myself. I feel a disconnect between my mind and my body. My brain fog is insane right now. I can’t keep a thought in my mind. I’ve got a constant headache, and I’m so very tired. It feels as if it take a huge effort on my part to accomplish anything.

 

I have accomplished a lot lately, but perhaps I took too much on. Again, I don’t know.

 

My LLMD feels that being taken off the Levaquin is what finally brought my intracranial pressure down. She’s comfortable putting me back on her treatment plan, but we’re proceeding cautiously. I wish it could be more aggressive though. I want to see the end of the tunnel, not just know that it’s there. You know? So currently I’ve got a week on antibiotics and then a week off. I see her again on the 14th to check in and learn what will come next. She’s keeping an eye on my adrenal functions now too. I’ve begun taking a low dose of licorice extract each morning hoping to up my cortisol  levels. Their low functioning might be what causing some of my deep fatigue.

 

In the meantime, my eye specialist isn’t completely assured by Mayo’s findings. I go in to see her on the 15th, and will hopefully be able to start lowering my dose of medication controlling my spinal pressure. We’ve found that many of it’s side-affects are actually my Lyme symptoms. It would be nice to know which they’re being caused by!

 

I’m still enjoying the time at my cabin. It’s been so wonderful to be out of school and able to relax finally. At the same time, it’s been a bit overwhelming so far. The sound level is tough. Loud sounds cause my dizziness and nausea to increase. I’ve got super sensitive hearing as a symptom. Hopefully I’ll still be able to be myself and have some fun with my family this week!

 

Peace and healing, molly

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