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I don’t know where the days went. It was Tuesday, and the next thing I know it’s Friday night and I’m exhausted. Well, that seems to point towards me having at least an exiting week. Which I did, I can verify that for ya. =)

 

But anyhow, lets see what did I do? There was a Girl Scout leader meeting that Em and I went to on Monday night. We publicized our camp a bit, so that was fun. And chatted, of course. There’s always more planning to be done. Let’s see what else…. Oh, ok I had a chiropractor appointment mid-week or so. That helped my migrates so much. Suddenly I could move my back freely and breath easier too. I’m just amazed every time I go back. My headaches are much improved from this time last week. I’m, needless to say, happy about that. Then I had a few days of internet-inactivity/mind-numbing frustration. It’s up and running now… but it and I haven’t found a mutual appreciation yet. We’re working on it…

 

Then Tara had a dress-fitting for the wedding. That was so fun! A little crazy and stressful perhaps, but it was nice. Tara brought over the dress she ended up buying this afternoon though. It’s so beautiful!! I can’t wait to see it on her. It’s absolutely perfect for her, a mix of everything she wanted. And, it’s vintage! She’s thrilled, it was so fun seeing her face as she showed it to me. I got to try out my bridesmaid dress too, which I love! It’ll be green and it’s so cute. I’m happy with it. Both Chris and Tara thought I’d like it. They were right!

 

And tonight, my goodness was there excitement. I was able to hang out with Dan and Gracia at the mall for a few hours. To be perfectly honest, I was just relieved to be out of my house! But, it’s been over a month since I saw Gracia last. And that’s a long time not to see your best friend! So it was awesome to see them, I was so excited I barely got any work done today (but shhhh….). Ahhh, normality is truly bliss.

 

I think overall, it was a great week but it was a rough one. The rain had me nearly couch-ridden for a few days there. Something about the change in humidity I think, it always makes me hurt so much more. I’ve been much dizzier, and nauseous this week. I’m started taking my anti-nausea meds every day. I’m just dragging, and moving slower than I’d like. I keep noticing how tired I am. I’ve also discovered that blurry vision is my newest herx symptom. That explains why I was having such a problem finding the correct contact prescription! It felt like my eyes kept changing, and turns out they probably were. Greaaat. And the blurriness is just making me more dizzy, which makes me more nauseous. It’s just a cycle that I can’t seem to catch the end of.

Here’s hoping for a restful weekend!

 

Peace, molly

 

“Sometimes in our confusion, we see not the world as it is, but the world though eyes blurred by the mind.” ~ Unknown

Has it really only been a week? God, it feels like so much longer! Not only have we been struggling with our internet connectivity while we switch providers, but on top of that my computer completely crashed. It’s Murphy’s Law in action. I swear!

 

I still don’t know what happened to my computer, and I’m not sure that I want to. It’s working now. I’m just thankful for that! I do know however that it took my dad hours on the phone over the week with Dell as well as a weekend of reloading every piece of software I use on a daily basis on a connection not much faster than dial-up (read that as Extremely Time Consuming!!!) I think I finally loaded the last program this afternoon. But seriously, I always joke around with my dad that he couldn’t live a day without his computer…. yeah… somehow I don’t find that so funny anymore!

 

I had a few days there that I barely knew what do do with myself. I couldn’t check my email, talk on IM, listen to my music, go to school, or blog. Or the million other things I felt like I should be doing. It was so bizarre! I seriously did feel so unconnected with life. I wasn’t bored, just impatient. And yet, it was only a day or so that I had no computer. I fear I may have been overreacting. But, alas, my perception is biased now that I have it back and I’m blogging, listening to the new Fray CD (Which is awesome!! Thanks Em!), responding to emails, and checking my Facebook. Yep, that’s right guys I’m even multitasking. :)

 

It’s good to be back though. I missed blogging. I think it’s becoming somewhat of a release, as well as some guaranteed time for writing.

 

I was able to fill my time this weekend though. It encompassed a lot of Girl Scout planning. This camp we’re planning now is actually taking shape. I’m getting so excited! And some much-needed family time as well. It was so fun, Matt, Becky, Chris, and Tara were all able to come over for a late lunch Saturday. It was great to catch up with everyone. And, Tara was sweet enough to ask me to be her Bridesmaid this September. I’m so excited about that too! Now, I know that the time will absolutely fly by until then.

 

Yesterday was nice too. I spent the morning teaching preschool, and the afternoon painting for an art assignment. It’s been so long since I painted last, I really enjoyed it! And, surprisingly the painting didn’t turn out too bad. Last week I spent a day creating some more fused plastic bracelets, which turned out so cool! So I’ve been exercising quite a lot of creativity lately. Probably good for me, huh?

 

As far as a health update goes, I’m having a flair at the moment. I woke up this morning knowing that it would be a painful day. The rain is definitely not helping. But, I’m managing.

 

More tomorrow. If I remember I’ll post a few pictures of those bracelets :)

 

Peace, molly

 

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” ~ Albert Einstein

Yup, I admit it. I had a rollercoaster kind of day today. It started out frustrating, became just plain out fun, and ended on the bittersweet note of vertigo-to-be.

 

I walked down to my favorite local coffee shop with my mom this afternoon to meet up with one of the amazing people who agreed to meet with me to sign my forms for my scholarship today. It was so nice to be walking outside. The sun was shining, the snow was melting, and I was actually able to wear my coat unbuttoned! Woohoo! (I love spring… don’t say I never warned you…) I also really appreciate that today I was actually able to walk down there. Some days I simply can’t and I’ve learned to appreciate the ones I can.

 

After I got my forms signed, my mom and I realized we had over an hour to blow before the other form signer was due back at our house. Oh what to do? Well, go shopping at our favorite local shops of course! I made it into the craft store and bought a pattern for a wallet (we’ll see if I can make it out of fused plastic!!) and a beginner’s quilting kit made up of retro fabrics! I’m so excited about both of them! I also picked up a cute new sweater at the vintage clothes store. That’s my favorite type of shopping. No cars, no crowds, no insane shopping malls that are one of a dizzy gal’s worst nightmares; only the friendly small shops that are just a block away. What’s not to love?

So I was able to get the second form signed afterwards, and to celebrate I dug out my new sewing machine to make a few test quilt squares. A few hours (and many tense moments of frustration) later I was happily sewing away at my crooked squares made from my stash of recovered fabrics. And my defense to the crookedness? I say: “Dizzy people see the world differently. So deal with it.” Or, I’ll at least deal until I can finally pull off a straight one. But by that time I’m sure I’ll have moved onto bigger and better crooked and a skewed undertakings.

 

I was also able to receive the letter of reference I needed from my Girl Scout leader. She and Em worked on it last night and tonight, and sent it over. It’s so sweet you guys, thanks again for the amazing compliments! I’m speechless by it. It’s printed and ready to be sent off tomorrow as soon as I get a hold of my transcripts for the past 3 years. Yeah. I know. Easier said than done. Wish me luck, I have a feeling I’ll be needing it.

 

So, sounds like a great day right? It totally was! But, here’s the anticlimactic part. I’m ending the day after barely being able to eat anything all day. The nausea is kicking up, and it’s not pleasant. My mom made an awesome dinner of crab bisque and I could only manage a half a bowl. Sad, I know. I forgot to eat lunch and half-way through dinner I was blind sighted by a wave of nausea and dizziness so strong that I was positive the room was going to start spinning around me at any minute. I haven’t had vertigo in over a year, and I’d like to keep it that way.

 

So here I am, typing even though my hands, wrists, and arms are aching. I’m drinking hot water with lemon juice squeezed in it because it’s the only comforting nausea remedy that I know of. Listening to music that’s just loud enough to distract me from my headache, but not loud enough to make it worse. And avoiding turning out the light and going to sleep because I know that the minute I’m immersed in the darkness I’ll begin spinning, twisting and turning, and gripping the bars of my loft bed struggling to relax.

 

I think I’ll do some reading tonight. I’ve just begun a new book in the Mary Russell & Sherlock Holmes series written by Laurie R. King (which I’m addicted to by the way!). With any luck I’ll read myself tired, which wont be hard to do tonight. That I’ll admit too.

 

More later.

Peace, molly

 

“Never, never, never give up.” ~ Winston Churchill

It’s days like today where I’m reminded of how lucky I truly am. Here I am, working on a scholarship application for the past week. It’s due tonight at midnight, and I turned it in late this afternoon. I was so excited, so proud that I had done it in time. That is, until my emotions went upside-down and backwards on me. As soon as I finalized the electronic application and I scrolled down to submit it and print out my own copy, I saw the word: Mail.

 

Ohmygoodness, I’m not going to lie. My heart sank. Turns out that I have to find a copy of my transcripts, get a letter of reference, have 2 signed forms of volunteer verification, and mail them all in with a paper copy of the application by February 1st.

 

I see two problems with this. First, do they not know that the 1st is a Sunday? Just wondering… I mean it’s going to have to be the 2nd if it happens at all. Not my fault, blame someone else for that one. And second, didn’t they think that knowing I would need those things would have been nice before I had submitted the application already?! Again, just curious over here. Needless to say, I was more than a little miffed.

 

Thank God for email and Facebook. That’s all I can say. I immediately got in touch with all the people I needed help from, and they all graciously agreed to. I’m so lucky, and I know it! I’m meeting with two of them tomorrow to sign the forms, and a third is typing up that letter as I type this. Thank you so much to all of you, really!! You have helped me more than you know, and I appreciate it.

 

Wish me luck guys, maybe I’ll actually win the scholarship. Who knows?! It could happen :)

Love you all, molly

 

“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

Ok, so much has happened in the past few days that it almost seems daunting to be sitting here trying to summarize it all for you. It’s been a complete mix of both amazing and inspiring events, to recoveries, excitements, and the inevitable repercussions that follow.The good days and the bad ones, the ups and the downs, I know they come with the territory. But every so often they just hit ya right in the face. And not always in a bad way, but often in a good one. I’m a realistic person, and feeling the ground under my feet is an emotion I’m willing to accept today.

 

It all began on Thursday. I did make it in to see my chiropractor, and yes thank God I seem to have recovered from my migraine! He made a few adjustments and almost instantaneously I could feel the pain just begin to melt away. I love that feeling. It’s like all of a sudden you can hear yourself think again. The dark overcast sky has moved on, and away, and you’re there just waiting for the sun to shine again. Is that a bit melodramatic? Oh well, if it gets the imaging across I’m happy. He agrees that I need some more work done though, so I’ll be seeing him again in a few weeks.

 

Friday morning my dad and I went in to see my doctor, just to check in on my progress so far and have a precautionary EKG done. The appointment went well. I listed off my seemingly odd symptoms and experiences so far and she just nodded and took notes. Apparently, I’m normal! Who knew?! Well, ok, I’ll rephrase that. I’m normal in the Lyme world.

 

My body sweats and chills, increased nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and I can’t even remember what else right now, are all normal reactions for me to be experiencing if I am indeed having a Herx. Need some refreshing on what that is exactly? Well a Herxheimer reaction, or Herx for short, occurs when the body (my body!) is experiencing the overwhelming effect of the toxins from the Lyme Disease as they’re being released from being killed off by the antibiotics. The body can’t get rid of them fast enough, and therefore both new and old symptoms begin to crop up again. Having a Herx is considered a confirmation of the Lyme Disease in my case. So yes folks, I’ve officially got Chronic Lyme Disease. Honestly, I’m happy that it’s confirmed. Now we can move forward with more treatments and try to fight this thing!

 

My doctor gave me a a list of herbs and supplements to look into taking. I’ll be starting Probiotics soon to give my body some help with good bacteria. The antibiotics are killing most of it right now, so it’s best to supplement. I’m still learning more about this, so there’ll more to come I’m sure. I’m also really intrigued by her request of me to begin taking grapefruit seed extract. There’s new research to show it’s usage in killing the “cyst” form of the disease, which antibiotics are unable to do. Exciting, huh? I’m amazed at the use of these natural sources for fighting the disease. Another supplement we’re looking into is Cordyceps mushroom which helps boost the immune system and also fights Lyme. I sense a trip to the Co-Op soon to look for these! Ah, and just a side-note… my EKG was just fine, so no worries there guys.

 

I spent the rest of Friday afternoon working on school work and cleaning my room. It’s taken me months to find the energy to do that, and I’m so glad I pushed myself to do it. I’m so enjoying being able to chill out on my couch again. I missed that. And, Friday night my best friend was able to sleep over! We were up until at least 1 watching chick flicks. The perfect end to a busy and crazy day I’d say!

 

Saturday morning we woke up bright and early (I don’t even want to think about how many hours of sleep I got..) to walk at the Juvenile Walk for Diabetes at the Mall of America. We walked to support a fellow Girl Scout from our service unit. And, let me just say that it was completely and totally worth it. It was truly amazing! The amount of people there was phenomenal, and the spirit and energy there was just so inspiring! I’ll post some photos later :)

 

So after all that excitement and walking, I crashed for the rest of the day yesterday. I was just so tired. I was dizzy, and tired, and nauseous but I didn’t regret it. And, I still don’t today. Sure, today was a long day, but like I said earlier… the ups and the downs come with the territory. I’m just proud that I pushed through and enjoyed myself so much over the long weekend. Today after teaching Preschool at my church I collapsed again (luckily, I can get to my couch now so that’s not as much of a problem anymore). My mom says she can “see it in my eyes” that I’m sick. And, I think I’d agree. I’m starting to feel the Herx more and more. Today I was feverish instead of chilled. My head aches, my legs and feet are painful to the touch, and I’m avoiding closing my eyes because I’m somewhat dizzier than normal and I don’t want to admit it. I had a great evening visiting with my brother and sister-in-law, and a morning to make me smile with my Preschool class. So it wasn’t a bad day altogether, but oh man parts of it were. I think though, that one of the benefits of having symptoms of “brain fog” and memory loss, is that I’ll probably just forget that this afternoon was horrible and only remember the good parts of the rest of the day. At least, I can only hope.

 

Peace, molly

 

“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.” ~ Douglas Adams

Well, it’s been a while since I wrote any “status-updates” hasn’t it? *sigh* Can you tell I love writing about that? But, that’s why I made this blog… so I suppose it’s time to address that for the week.

 

Here goes nothin’

 

Okay, so I’ve now graduated into 3 weeks of Lyme Disease treatments. Yay me!! That was yesterday I believe, or Monday night, one of the two. But, no matter, close enough cuts it for me!

 

Yesterday was also an important day in this whole progress because it was the first day I began taking my 2nd antibiotic. That was fun… I’m just thanking the heaven’s above that I actually remembered to add the new med into my pills the night before! I (feeling oh so very smart, I might add…) added the date and med into my amazing computer calendar, meaning that my computer scared me on the morning of by popping up with a reminder to take it. So, yes, I was feeling a bit smug, if a bit sheepish at jumping because of a pop-up. But, I’m a jumpy person so that’s not my own fault. Oh jeez, I’m digressing.

 

Back on topic!

 

Where was I? Oh yes, my 2nd antibiotic. Well, no bad reactions from it yet. Which is definitely a good thing! My doctor was a little worried about my heart rate after I began taking it, so lucky me, having a dad who used to be an EMT I’ve been under surveillance. So far so good. A normal, steady pulse. Which, is a little odd in itself. Normally my pulse is super fast, and my doctors are considering it a symptom of the Lyme.

 

So I have an appointment bright and early Friday morning to have an EKG done just in case. Very precautionary. I’ll have been on the med for three days beforehand. I’ve never had an EKG before. Do I sense a new adventure?!

 

And, before I get any questioning comments from my parents… no I am not always that enthusiastic. It’s actually been a really long week so far. And, it’s only Wednesday! Uh oh…. I’ve been so extremely fatigued I hardly want to admit it. The pain hasn’t been too bad, minimal I’d say. But it’s there. As is the dizziness which has actually increased a lot in the past week. Last night it was so bad that I didn’t feel like I could turn my head. Ack! 

 

I’ve also had a migraine on and off for the past week. It’s the 1st one in almost two months though! I’m so thrilled at that!! I used to have them weekly. I started seeing a chiropractor in the middle of last year and I still can’t believe the results I’ve been getting. So, needless to say I’m very excited to have an appointment tomorrow morning. Cross your fingers we can get rid of this one too!

 

Other symptoms that have cropped up include me breaking out into cold sweats still. That’s really not fun. I’ve also been pretty shaky all week. And, of course the nausea has been pretty bad. I think that’s being caused by the antibiotics. But, I always get more nauseous when my dizziness increases so who knows. 

 

I think that’s just about it. Otherwise, my new school semester started today. New classes included! I’ve got a new art course, economics, and chemistry now. I’ve also been working on a Girl Scout Leadership camp that my best friend and I were asked to plan/host. So that’s been fun. We’re still in the brain-storming phase though so we’ve got lots more work to do coming up here.

 

So there’s my update! Not the best news, but not too bad either I’d like to think. I’m not sure if I’ve gone into a Herx reaction or not yet, but we’ll see what my doctor has to say on Friday.

 

More later,

 

Peace, molly

 

“Don’t panic!” ~Douglas Adams

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