Intentions

Intentions are a powerful thing. This awesome universe that we live in works in mysterious ways. I’ve had this proven to me time and time again. I don’t know why it still surprises me, but it truly does and I’m glad! I want to be surprised by the world we live in. Life wouldn’t be nearly as much fun if it were a series of predicable events.

I wrote on my birthday that I wanted to start living life again. Imagine what the universe threw my way…

I watch more TV than is good for a person. I admit it. One of the shows that my parents and I love is USA’s Fairly Legal. It’s about a woman trying to keep her crazy life together while helping people with their own problems as a mediator for a law firm. At the firm she has an absolutely wonderful & hilarious assistant, named Leo.

I love Leo. I want an assistant like Leo in my life. He could help me manage my dozens of pills each day, make phone calls, help with SSDI paperwork, drive me to appointments and just help keep me sane in an unpredictable life. I could really use a Leo.

But, I don’t have a Leo. So I watch the show and I laugh. The actor who plays Leo is Baron Vaughn. Baron Vaughn happens to also be a comedian. Which, made perfect sense once I found that out! The man has me in stitches on the show, seriously. And those of you who know me personally, yes I do laugh at almost everything and yes I do laugh so hard there are tears present at least once a week, but honestly, this dude is funny!

Friday night after my friends had come and left (more on that later), my parents had gone to bed, and I was wide awake I was on IMDb looking up actors in another USA show, which led me to Wiki, which led me eventually to Fairly Legal and Baron Vaughn and then to his personal website. I have no idea how I leapt from one thing to another to another until I landed where I did, but I believe it was the universe doin’ it’s thing.

Serendipity.

Have you guessed yet what it was the universe threw my way?

Baron Vaughn was in Minneapolis doing a show at a local comedy club the very next night! I couldn’t believe it. It seemed like a cosmic answer to my intention. I wanted to life live a little. Well, I did. Saturday night I found myself dressed in actual clothes instead of sweats and sitting in a club laughing at a wonderful comedian in person instead of in my living room on the TV.

It felt magic.

I laughed so much I was sore afterwards! He has such a wonderful sense of humor. My parents and I were impressed with his intelligent wit. So enjoyable! It was just what I needed. Mom and Dad, I know you’re reading this. Thank you for taking me!

My dad nearly fell out of his chair I believe when he asked from the stage if anyone was following a weird or unusual diet. I laughed, but I didn’t want to try to explain mine! Too complicated. And way too much fodder for him to expound upon! He went into a story about how he was trying to kick sugar and how HARD it is to do. My favorite part of the show!! I could absolutely laugh in understanding, unlike those around me who had no clue for the most part.

Check out his website for videos of him sometime if you need a laugh.

So the universe has proven to me once again that it has a hand in our lives. I’m not saying we have no choice, no free will. No. And I don’t know if I believe in fate or in destiny. I just know that I believe in the power of intentions. I put that wish out into the universe and the universe answered back; it acknowledged it and honored it.

I enjoyed myself in the moment, drinking it all in,  just like I had wished.

What will the universe and I do next? I’m curious! I’m keeping myself open and my intentions out there. Life is a beautiful thing.

 

peace and healing,

molly

 

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. — Joseph Campbel

 

The Big Bad Word

Toxins.

My LLMD brought up The Big Bad Word at my appointment this week. I hate the word toxins. Even more so do I hate the word toxic. I’m a visual person, and the word “toxic” brings with it only bad images.

I see hazmat suits and warning signs.

My LLMD appointment was on Tuesday. My LLMD is moving to a new building this month, and the next time I see her will be there. I can’t wait. For me, atmosphere means a lot. The clinic I have been seeing her at for months makes me ill. They have those lights that buzz, the nurses wear too much perfume, and the overall feeling of the place is sterile. It has nothing that stimulates healing for me. I really hope that the new office will be more suited for her; I really do. We patients deserve it.

My appointment can be summed up by the title of this post: The Big Bad Word.

I went in feeling that I was herxing. I know what this feeling is. My body is slowly becoming overwhelmed by toxins. The newest antibiotic trio has been working. But, is it too much? If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know that I’ve always been sensitive to treatments.

I feel as though I take two big steps forward in treatment. I make progress. I taste it. Then, my body forces me to back up again. I feel as though I’ve been in the same place for months. What has changed? Very little, actually. I had those great 3 weeks, and since then I’m back to where I was.

I’m frustrated.

My body is trying desperately to detox. I’m breaking out in whole-body sweats. My skin literally itches. My body is showing signs of trying to shed these toxins but it needs help. I left her office with the names of two new supplements to add to my regime which will aid in the detoxification. One I still need to order, and the other is in the mail already. I should be starting at least that one next week.

My antibiotic dosage has also been slightly reduced in order to help my body adjust. We’ll see if between these things I’ll see a difference. I hope so. Right now I’m living in a fog. My head feels as though it will explode at any moment, and my overall pain levels are increasing. My fatigue has struck again. What I laughingly refer to as my memory is becoming tiresome. I’m shaking like a leaf.

My daily functionality differs day by day.

Today I had plans to go shopping with my best friend. We ended up staying at my house, making popcorn, and watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights. All in all – it was a great day!! I’m grateful for it. I had so much fun. I laughed. I smiled. We talked. I loved this day. But our plans changed because suddenly this afternoon I was hit unexpectedly with a wall of fatigue.

I literally turned off my computer, the lights, and fell asleep on my couch for 20 minutes. I never take naps. When I do, I know it’s serious.

Maybe that’s why I enjoyed Robin Hood: Men in Tights so much today… humor to heal the herx? I’m willing to give that a try. Anyone ever tried detox by laughter?

Laughter heals – that much I know. But does it detox?

Well, it can’t hurt :)

 

Wishing you health & healing,

molly

 

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” – Bill Cosby

New Blog Features

Hello, everyone! There are a couple new features to find here on the blog, and I thought I’d give you a head’s up.

First, on the left-hand side of the page is a new email subscription feature. I’ve always had the Feedburner email service, but I wasn’t ever completely satisfied with it. WordPress has come out with a service of it’s own that I’m excited to try! So, if you’re interested go ahead and test it out. It will email you the complete blog post (not just a snippet) minutes after I post it and give you a link to comment. I like it – I signed up myself just to see what it was like! And there’s still the feed subscription here as well.

I’ve also created a new page called Lyme in Action. Do you ever have complete and total Lyme moments? The ones you just can’t explain? I do! Check out Lyme in Action to laugh with me as I share my own.

And lastly, this isn’t a new feature but if you missed my update on the MN Lyme bill you can read about it here.

 

Enjoy!

 

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”