Meant to be

, originally uploaded by Jessie Koon.

 

This popped up in my Twitter feed today from Kind Over Matter. All I can say, is that I honestly and absolutely believe that things happen for a reason. One thing happens that causes something else, and before you know it there’s a chain reaction leading to an exact moment in your life. Most of the time these undercurrents go unnoticed in our lives. I love to stop and notice those movements in life, and enjoy the pure the serendipity involved.

This photo is exactly what I needed to see this morning.

I woke up feeling miserable. I was moving slowly, stiffly, nauseously. I couldn’t eat a bite. I could barely stand long enough to get dressed, never mind the make-up. Vertigo swished and swirled around me as I tried to bend down. It was as bad as I’ve been in a long, long time.

And this had been building up all week. Each day worse than the day before it. And this morning I almost cried. Today was the day that I had been asked by my school to tape a PR video testimonial interview. I was so excited to do this. I believe in my school, and it’s mission. This was a chance I jumped at. And I woke up in worse shape than I had imagined.

That’s when I saw this photo. I smiled. And I knew that this was meant for me to see this morning. It brought out that motivation I needed, that knowledge that I could do this. I wanted to do it, and I wanted to do all I could to help myself achieve this. 

I pushed myself to swallow my handful of pills and go to my craniosacral appointment. I’m so incredibly grateful for my therapist there. She is amazing -inspiring and motivating me to focus myself for this opportunity, and then focusing herself on my body.

She worked a miracle today.

I just got home from the interview, and it was the most fun I’ve had in a while. And, remember, I’m one of those people who usually have fun doing anything! This was incredible. I’m so grateful, and sincerely happy to have gotten the chance to do this! It was great, and I was great! I pulled something out of myself, and I hope that what I brought to this process today will help someone. I  know it was worth it if it does.

I had to share this with you!

Peace and healing, molly

Can you help me?

Hello, all! You have been such a wonderful support system over the course of the year. So I, of course, find myself turning to you with a request.

I’ve recently begun another blog. This time it’s for school. It’s called Peaced Together and is exploring the overall topic of peace in our lives.

Can you help me? I’m looking for some comments sharing your opinion of what peace is. We all have a different perspective, opinion, and definition peace. I’m gathering them for my project. I’ve created an intro to peace video to get your thoughts churning. You can find the link to it here – http://wp.me/pFToy-M.

Please, take a few minutes and explore my site. I’m having so much fun creating it. Peace is a passion of mine, and I know that this is fuel in my life for the healing I need.

I took this photo yesterday at the doctor’s office. {You can find it when you’re exploring Peaced Together by finding the category Peaced Together with a Button.} It spoke to me! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. The receptionist is used to my my quirkiness – she was only slightly confused as to what it was I was doing!

Thank you so very much.

Peace and healing, molly

My glass is still half-full

Oh my. I may have escaped La La Land – for now. It was a tough day today. I felt a complete disconnect from my mind and my body. So strange, especially after having a great craniosacral appointment this afternoon. Anyhow, let’s hope this breakthrough can carry on until tomorrow! I could use a day with mental clarity. It helps to be able to think through the fogginess every few days. I was just given an extension on two of my hardest classes {I love my teachers, have I said that?}, but I still have a lot to do and I’m starting to falter. One step forward and two back.

Same old story.

But, I’ve realized I’ve had some improvements lately! Yes! I love sharing those. Remember I said in my last post that I had some treatment updates? If not, it’s ok, I had to go back and re-read my post before I did. But, I do!

First, I’ve finally been cleared to begin taking Nattokinase. You might have heard some chatter about this supplement before. I know I have. As far as my understanding goes, it will break up the fibrin clots in my body so that the antibiotics can get to the newly exposed bacteria.  Sounds good, right? This enzyme has also been talked about in conjunction with the Lyme “biofilm”. I’m not going to touch on this only because I haven’t done the research on it. I really know nothing about it. But, if it helps with that – awesome! No complaints here. My LLMD suggested Nattokinase as an option way back in March, or so, but we couldn’t order it right away. Turns out that by the time we had received it in the mail I was advised against taking it. That was during my ICP crisis, and they didn’t want to chance any bleeding into my eyes. Nattokinase does act as a blood thinner.

Secondly, I’m excited to be adding Turmeric to my daily arsenal of supplements. In very high doses, this herb has been found to reduce inflammation and pain in the body. I’m all for pain relief these days. My pain has been flaring up more than I expected this fall. It’s been bad. So I started 900 mg of Turmeric three times a day last week. By today I realized that my pain level was down to a 6 when I went into craniosacral this afternoon! {My pain levels have been around 8 & 9 consistently this fall}. Amazing! Let’s see if this is a good fit for me. I really, really hope so.

These pills are HORSE pills though. I mean it. I measured! It’s practically an inch long, no joke. I have photographic evidence! Sorry for the blurry cell phone picture, my camera died this afternoon. But look! Sad thing is that I don’t even feel it going down. 

 

And last but not least, another supplement has been added to my polka dotted bag o’ meds. I’m now taking 5-HTP each night to help me regulate my sleep cycle again. It has been shown to increase serotonin levels. Over the past few weeks my sleep has been fit-full. I would wake up exhausted and feel groggy for hours. I realized yesterday that it must be helping, because I’ve been so tired at night that I’ve been falling asleep before doing any reading. I never do that! I’m not only just falling asleep, but I’m staying asleep all night. A full night’s sleep – imagine! Oh it feels good.

I can’t wait to go back to my LLMD in a few weeks with all of these new realizations! Progress feels so good, even if I’m still pushing my way towards the end of a very, very long herx. I’m also waiting to hear what news my LLMD has brought back from the ILADS conference over last weekend. Hopefully some new ideas for my treatment plan.

I had a Lyme co-infection test near the end of the summer and it came back with slightly positive Babesia result. So my running infection tally is now Lyme, Bartonella, and Babesia. Bartonella and Babesia are common tick-borne infections often found aside Lyme disease.

So, some good news, some bad.

For now I’m still thinking of that glass as half full.

Peace and healing, molly

Feeling Grateful

tea, originally uploaded by type.wright.

 

I’m feeling grateful tonight. How serendipitous that this popped up in a Flickr search! I truly mean it – Thank you – from the bottom of my heart.

Look for an update as soon as I can pull my fogged up brain out of La La Land.

I never could read a map

ParentsPstcrd_081509.jpg, originally uploaded by Pedestrian Typography.

I saw this today, and it hit a cord with me. This has got to be the road-map for Lyme treatment, no? I mean… we start out “here” and end up “there” after so many bumps, curves, twists and turns that we come out not knowing which way is up but so glad that we made the journey. Or, at least, I assume that’s how we’ve got to come out of this crazy trip.

This makes me smile. And then heave a huge sigh. But, at least according to this map there is an end destination for us all. That’s all I need to know, really. I’ll take it one day at a time, knowing that there is, indeed, an end.

My wish for you

FEEL GOOD, originally uploaded by Cordelia Roberts.

If only I could send all my Lyme friends a Get Well card. Or a "Smile, tomorrow is a new day." card. Or maybe a "Cheer up, I’m thinking of you!" card. This will have to do for today. My wish for you – Feel Good!

it’s okay.

it’s okay., originally uploaded by wishcake.

This is pretty much going to be my new mantra. I love it! These words open up such freedom, and so much potential. Sometimes, we just need to be told that “it’s ok.” for us to do something.